Leveraging Relationships (the right way)

I was having dinner in Boston with some people this week and one woman seemed kind of down. I asked what was going on.

You have such an amazing story! But, I can’t ever achieve at your level because I don’t have such a cool story…
– The Sad real estate professional

First of all, that’s just crazy talk. She had a great story and had accomplished more in the last few years than most people will accomplish in a lifetime.

I did mention that to her, but that wasn’t the response she was looking for. So, I thought some more.

Then I realized… it’s not about having an amazing story on your own, it’s about leveraging other people’s stores!

Let me explain…

Telling Stories to Tell Your Story

I was having dinner with Kyle Wilson, who is the founder of Jim Rohn International and 18-year business partner with Jim Rohn. Kyle is the guy who took Jim from 30 speaking gigs at $5k to over 100 gigs at $20k+.

If you haven’t heard of Jim Rohn, since he passed away 10 years ago, you might have heard of Tony Robbins, probably the worlds biggest life coach and motivational speaker. Jim was Tony’s mentor.

Anyhow, Kyle and I are working on an amazing book together (will be released in September tentatively), and that evening he was talking about the power of the story. Specifically, how you can associate yourself with other people in a truthful and relatable way and in the process you’re building up your own story.

By having a story and having someone else in it, you’ve intertwined your name with their name and some of their authority has rubbed off on you.

OK, stop for a second…

… do you see what I just did there?

My story was about having dinner with someone. But, by taking a second to dive into their story a little bit it really props up and supports my story. In the process of propping them up, I’ve also made myself look better.

I mentioned something we’re working on together (so I plugged my future product to build up some buzz), and leveraged his relationship with Jim Rohn.

Think about that for a moment… By making someone else look good, I’ve also made myself look good. Let’s peel back this onion one more layer.

Make Others Look Good

We all know that you look more successful if you surround yourself with highly successful people.

But, most people spend a lot of time diminishing the stories of those around them. They want to be around great people but also want to appear better than them. It’s like competing with the Jones’ family next door – it’s kind of pointless.

Part of leveraging your relationship with other people is to build them up. Let’s compare:

Option 1: I was having dinner with a house flipper named Nick, and we chatted about some projects we’re working on.

Option 2: I was having dinner with my good friend Nick who has rehabbed over 250 properties and is the leading expert in off-market deal acquisition in Massachusetts. We were chatting about a project that is going to completely change the way people approach investing.

Which ‘Nick’ would you rather have dinner with? Obviously, Nick #2.

Now you’re starting to see how story telling in #1 and building up people in #2 work together.

Affecting People Through Others

Another important thing to consider is that when you find a way to add value to what others are doing, you are influencing them and what they do. Then, through them, you can cause changes in people other than them.

Going back to Jim Rohn. Jim was massively influential to a lot of people. But, he was also influential to Tony Robbins who has gone on to influence millions more people. So, in essence, Jim was able to magnify his message through other people.

This week I was at the meetup I founded in Massachusetts 2 years ago. It has become the largest multifamily Meetup in the state and might soon become the biggest real estate Meetup in the state, regardless of niche. It has grown in large part because of Matt Pichany, who is a multifamily syndicator and one of the original investors in the hit play “Hamilton”. He has been hosting and leading the Meetup for over a year and has been doing a ton of work every week to make it run smoothly.

Someone came up to me and shook my hand and said,

You don’t know me, but you changed my life. Because of this group, I just closed on my second property and also just dropped out of college to pursue real estate.
– Nicolas B.

WOW! What a testimonial, right? My point isn’t about the testimonial, but that I was able to change his life through people like Matt and others.

So, we’re creating stories to tell, building up the people around us, and now causing change in other’s lives. That is how you create value and leverage relationships.